Are you struggling with excessive viewing of pornography and/or a sexual addiction? At San Jose Counseling, we utilize proven strategies to help you recover from compulsive sexual behaviors. Sexual addiction, also referred to as “hypersexual disorder,” “compulsive sexual behavior,” and “problematic sexual behavior,” is a maladaptive preoccupation with sex, sometimes entailing the frantic hunt for non-intimate encounters of a sexual nature, such as, but not limited to: anonymous sex, pornography, solicitation of escorts or prostitutes, affairs and compulsive masturbation. This sequence of longings, fantasies and manners of conduct endures for a span of at least six months (Weiss, 2015), regardless of the following:
To put it simply, sexual addiction is a continuous, chaotic sequence of compulsive sexual fantasies and deeds that has life-damaging consequences in the addicts’ life (Weiss, 2015). If you are acting out sexually and your behavior has resulted in health complications (psychological and/or physical), job loss and financial problems, relationships being strained or broken or more serious consequences such as being involved in litigations over inappropriate and illegal behaviors then you are most likely a sex addict. You can find valuable information about how San Jose Counseling can help you recover from sexual addiction. Click for easy access to:
If you would like to get help with your sex addiction please click here to schedule a free consultation; we have offices conveniently located in San Jose Ca.
For many addicts their sexual addiction has its roots in trauma endured during their childhood. According to Dr. Patrick Carnes in his book, “Contrary to Love” his research showed that 97% of sex addicts were emotionally abused, 72% were physically abused and 81% were sexually abused.
Sexual addiction counseling treatment will entail individual counseling, EMDR, and support groups (like 12-step meetings) to to help you reach sobriety. For treatment and true recovery to be successful, a combination of either individual sexual addiction counseling or group sexual addiction counseling in conjunction with a twelve step program should be used.
So, once an individual decides to pursue sexual addiction counseling, what will therapy look like?
The goal of sexual addiction counseling will not revolve around abolishing sex altogether, but rather, to find alternate ways to cope with stress, anxiety or emotional pain. In other words, sexual addiction counseling will require the addict to learn to place sex in its proper context.
One of the first things accomplished in sexual addiction counseling is to understand the cycle of sexual addiction. Here, the addict will get an understanding of short and long-term events that have contributed to his stress and anxiety.
Next, the therapist will help the addict identify some possible triggers (people, places, things, thoughts, feelings and behaviors that make one feel anxious or stressed and want to act out).
Finally, due to the abuse in the addict’s family of origin, a majority of the sexual addiction counseling will entail grief work around the trauma and identifying cognitive distortions (errors we make in our thinking or thinking in extremes).
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. EMDR is a set of standardized protocols that incorporates elements from many different treatment approaches. To date, EMDR therapy has helped millions of people of all ages relieve many types of psychological stress.
At San Jose Counseling, we offer focused individualized attention to help you successfully recover from sexual addiction. Our therapists are certified in sex addiction therapy (CSAT) the premier certification and training provided to diagnose sexual addiction and create a treatment plan for the addict’s sexual addiction counseling. Our treatment plan combines trauma therapies to conquer addiction for lasting results. Contact us now for a free consult.
At San Jose Counseling, Inc., you will have an opportunity to work with Dr. Invia Betjoseph, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). As a therapist, Dr. Invia has over 15 years of experience in providing sexual addiction counseling, and treating depression, anxiety, self-image, shame and guilt as well as a focus in couples who are experiencing emotional stress related to relationship conflict and extra-marital affairs. He has extensive experience with “Every Man’s Battle,” a New Life organization dedicated to helping men deal with sexual addiction counseling and has worked for the Santa Clara County Mental Health as a suicide and crisis counselor. Dr. Invia also has level I training in EMDR and is certified in Affect Centered Therapy providing trauma recovery for many of his clients. Visit this site Dr. Invia offers a free consultation so you can decide if San Jose Counseling is right for your sexual addiction counseling at no-charge.
At San Jose Counseling, Dr. Invia or another one of our CSATs will start with a sexual addiction assessment. The individual will be given the Sexual Dependence Inventory (SDI), which will indicate whether or not the person is dealing with a sexual addiction. This assessment will enable the therapist o develop a deeper understanding of the individual and what he/she needs to start the sexual addiction counseling. The therapist will then have time to give his or her impression of the situation. Together, the individual and the therapist can agree to a sexual addiction counseling plan that will meet one’s needs and help reach recovery goals. Call San Jose Counseling today to schedule your free consultation with Dr. Invia or one of our other CSAT specialists to start your sexual addiction counseling today.
One way to understand why a person is addicted to sex is to look at other types of addiction such as drugs and alcohol. Someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs uses these substances to change his/her moods; in other words, the addict tries to numb emotional pain. The substance becomes more important than family, friends and work. Eventually, the individuals reach a point where, in order to feel normal, they must have the drug or alcohol. Dr. Patrick Carnes, in his book, "Out of the Shadows", writes, "...to feel 'normal' for the alcoholic is also to feel isolated and lonely since the primary relationship he depends upon to feel adequate is a chemical, not other people." Sex addiction parallels the above dynamic in that addicts use sexual behaviors to "medicate" or numb their feelings (such as fear, anxiety or anger) to the degree that their sexual acting out becomes their primary way of coping with emotional stress. Therefore, it is important not to confuse sexual addiction with sexual desire. Most adults have a healthy sexual desire but not everyone uses sex to address non-sexual emotional needs. Sex addictions can take on many forms including but not limited to the following sexual behaviors:
The consequences of sexual addiction can be devastating to not only the addict but also those close to him/her. It can leave an addict isolated, intensely anxious and depressed to the point of being suicidal. Low self-esteem, shame, hopelessness and despair are also common feelings experienced by sex addicts.
If you are facing divorce, consider mediation with one of our partners out at http://www.ffmediation.com/divorce-mediation. The ramifications of sex addiction do not end on an emotional level but rather, continue onto medical, financial and legal ones as well.
Medical consequences of sex addiction may include HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as genital herpes, syphilis and gonorrhea. In addition, genital injury may result from excessive sexual activity or the use of foreign objects for sexual stimulation.
Financial consequences of sex addiction may include the loss of one's job, getting sued over sexual harassment or sexual exploitation charges resulting in legal fees. Purchasing pornographic material, use of prostitutes, calling 900 phone numbers and traveling for the sole purpose of sexual contacts can create enormous debt in credit card bills and exhaust the financial resources of an addict often times to the point of bankruptcy.
There are many legal consequences of sexual addiction. Arrest and incarceration are the most common legal consequences. The addict's out of control lifestyle compels him to engage in high risk, illegal activities such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, inappropriate touching and the solicitation of prostitutes
Love addiction is different from sex addiction. Love addiction is basically an unhealthy attachment to people and romance in an endeavor to fulfill unmet developmental needs. Like drug addicts and alcoholics, "love" addicts establish love relationships, get high on the romance, develop a tolerance for it, and need ever-greater doses to keep going. Love addicts can never find fulfillment and consistency in any of their love relationships thus, it is not uncommon for them to have several love relationships with different people going on at the same time. For them, love is all consuming and obsessive, avoids risk and lacks true intimacy. Like any other addict, "love" addicts search for something to mend their pain, fear and other uncomfortable emotions. For these addicts, that "something" is people or a romantic relationship. The search for people that remind addicts of their past is not uncommon. The hope is that these new relationships will meet their needs in a way previous ones could not. However, because these new relationships are "similar" to old ones the addict is rendered, once again, dissatisfied. Psychologist and author, Brenda M. Schaeffer puts it best: "The paradox is that love addiction is an attempt to gain control of [their] lives, and in so doing: [they] go out of control by giving personal power to someone outside [themselves]. Addictive love is an attempt to satisfy [their] developmental hunger for security, sensation, power, belonging, and meaning. Love addiction is very often associated with feelings of "never having enough" or "not being enough". None of [them] got everything [they] needed in just the way [they] needed it in [their] developmental history. ["Love" addicts] literally walk around with holes in [their] psyche and look for others to fill those holes.” There are some common symptoms of love addicts:
Dr. Invia A. Betjoseph is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC 44618.
As a Psychotherapist, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, he provides Psychotherapy, or Counseling and Sex Addiction Treatment for Sexual Addiction and Pornography or Porn Addiction.
© 2020 San Jose Counseling, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.