Marriage and Couples Counseling Sunnyvale Ca

At San Jose Counseling, our therapists provide couples counseling and marriage counseling to those in Sunnyvale, CA.  We believe everyone deserves to have a successful marriage, and that includes Sunnyvale, CA. We will equip you with the right tools to succeed in your marriage or relationship. Sunnyvale Ca is a gorgeous city in a prime location in silicon valley and close to our offices.

 Professional Marriage and Couples Counseling for Sunnyvale Ca residents

There is plenty of material about how you can strengthen your marriage or relationship. Of course, communication is often one of the items on the top of the list. However, a successful marriage requires far more than just communication. Your core beliefs, values, and family background are impacting your marriage. If you have suffered trauma that is untreated, it can negatively impact your relationship.  When a spouse suffers from addictions or mental disorders, the weight of those problems can hurt the couple. It’s important not to let time pass by without addressing these issues. At San Jose Counseling, with marriage counseling or couples counseling, we are confident that we can provide you the skills and tools for to succeed.
marriage counseling and couples counseling in  sunnyvale

You can regain control of your marriage or relationship. You can fall in love again, and this time with greater intimacy, understanding and depth.  In marriage counseling or couples counseling, our counselors can help you identify the areas in your marriage that need work and help you maximize your strengths.


At San Jose Counseling, Invia A. Betjoseph, LMFT, CSAT is a specialized couple’s counselor. He is well known and respected in the Bay Area, including Sunnyvale, CA. He specializes […]

By |January 16th, 2015|Blog, Counseling|0 Comments

Couples & Marriage Counseling Therapy Campbell Ca

You can have a successful marriage. At San Jose Counseling we assist our neighbors looking for couples and marriage counseling in Campbell Ca. Campbell ca  is just one of the many cities in santa clara county and it neighbors san jose.  The therapists at San Jose Counseling provide couples counseling and marriage counseling in san jose to many different couples. Some of our couples come in for maintenance and to learn a few techniques to spice up their marriage. To turn on the intimacy level. Others have difficult marriages or are in real trouble. Whatever your situation may be, we have couples counseling or marriage counseling services that will work for you.

 Local Campbell Ca Marriage an Couples Counseling couples counseling campbell ca

If you and your spouse are caught in a bad cycle, let us help you. Most couples argue about the same issues, in the same way, around the same time. It slowly chips away at the marriage. The love you had for your spouse seems to slip away. Instead, you may be so angry that you resent your spouse. With marriage counseling, we can equip you so that you can get out of this cycle. We will provide you practical tools to catch the cycle before it happens to change the dynamic in your relationship.


Reignite the passion of your marriage or relationship. Fall in love again, and this time with a deeper level of intimacy and understanding.  Couples who nurture their marriage have more long-lasting and satisfying relationships. Professional marriage counseling provides you the safe environment to find out what may really be going on in your marriage so you can save it.


Invia A. Betjoseph, […]

By |January 16th, 2015|Blog, Counseling|0 Comments

Sex Addiction Recovery

Sex addiction is the use of sex and/or pornography to address non-sexual, emotional needs.  Countless people from different cultures struggle with this condition, which not only disrupts their everyday life, but it also destroys it in the process. Sex addiction recovery is the person’s journey in not only uncovering all the pain and shame that fuels this compulsive behavior, but also maintaining sobriety by making wholesome, healthy decisions.

What is Sex Addiction and Sex Addiction Recovery

Sexual Addiction RecoverySex addiction is progressive in nature, and it progresses gradually, in stages, during which time, the addict becomes increasingly detached from friends, family and the real world.  Think of a continuum, where on one end is no use for sexual activity and on the opposite end is sex addiction.  Between these two polar opposites, there is some sexual use, followed by misusing sex, abusing sex until one ends up in the extreme end: sex addiction.  Ultimately, the addictive cycle ends with serious guilt and shame, and when this cycle runs long enough, the addict’s life becomes unmanageable resulting in possible legal, financial or personal distress.  If you are reading this, and resonate with the descripition above, then you can stop the cycle and start your sex addiction recovery today.

Even if one does not exhibit all the symptoms or severity of sex addiction now, the misuse and abuse of sex (such as compulsively masturbating to pornography, frequenting gentleman’s clubs and sexual massage parlors, or paying escorts) quickly impacts one’s ability to have sex in a healthy way.  During the “thrill of the hunt,” the individual experiences an imense pleasure, which takes place in the reward pathway of the brain.  Over a […]

By |October 12th, 2013|Sexual Addiction|0 Comments

Sexual Addiction Counseling

Although this is not the case for all sexual addicts, for many addicts their sexual addiction has its roots in trauma endured during their childhood.  According to Dr. Patrick Carnes in his book, “Contrary to Love” his research showed that 97% of sex addicts were emotionally abused, 72% were physically abused and 81% were sexually abused.

Therefore, treatment will entail fellowship in support groups (like 12-step meetings) and some form of counseling.  In relation to sexual addiction counseling, the addict has some options from which to choose such as: individual counseling, twelve step programs or support groups.  It is recommended that the addict pursues a combination of either individual sexual addiction counseling or group sexual addiction counseling in conjunction with a twelve step program.

So, once an individual decides to pursue sexual addiction counseling, what will therapy look like?

Sexual Addiction CounselingThe goal of sexual addiction counseling will not revolve around abolishing sex altogether, but rather, to find alternate ways to cope with stress, anxiety or emotional pain.  In other words, sexual addiction counseling will require the addict to learn to place sex in its proper context.

One of the first things accomplished in sexual addiction counseling is to understand the cycle of sexual addiction.  Here, the addict will get an understanding of short and long term events that have contributed to his stress and anxiety.

Next, the therapist will help the addict identify some possible triggers (people, places, things, thoughts, feelings and behaviors that make one feel anxious or stressed and want to act out).

Finally, due to the abuse in the addict’s family of origin, a majority of the sexual addiction counseling will entail grief work around the trauma and […]

Couples Counseling San Jose

Who Will Benefit from Couples Counseling San Jose?

Any couple can benefit from couples counseling.  Often, couples who believe that their relationship warrants counseling, conclude that it is a bad sign and they should consider breaking-up.  This isn’t the case.  Many couples pursue couples counseling for positive reasons such as the desire to create healthy relationships or enhance communication skills. The length of couples counseling can vary.  Some couples might need a handful of sessions to put them on the right track. Others are in crisis and require more attention and work.  However, with the right therapist and effort from the couple, they can find hope for their relationship and solid-lasting love.

What Kinds of Problems are Addressed in Couples Counseling San Jose Ca?

couples counseling san jose caPeople seek therapy for a range of problems.  Every situation and couple is different. The aim is to help the couple gain a better understanding of themselves and their partner, and to decide if they need and want to make changes. If so, the therapist will help guide them to those needed changes.

Some of the common complaints we see at couples counseling San Jose Ca include:

  • Poor communication
  • Unspoken expectations
  • Unmet emotional or physical needs
  • Financial concerns
  • Frequent arguments
  • Parenting issues
  • Sexual and intimacy issues
  • Trust issues

Couples will pursue couples counseling not because their problems are unique, but because they are having difficulty resolving them in a health way. When problems are not resolved in a healthy, timely, manner, the consequences such as disappointment, bitterness and anger, escalate into more serious issues like resentment, hatred and rage.  This form of escalation can be avoided! Mediocrity and dysfunction can be aleviated if couples counseling is sought […]

By |October 12th, 2013|Counseling|0 Comments

Therapist San Jose

Should I see a Therapist?

That’s a great question. For many, it takes a lot of courage to even ask that question, or be brave enough to proactively search one out. You are making great steps towards your ultimate health.  And yes, one can definitely benefit from seeing a therapist!

It is definitely a misnomer that seeing a therapist in San Jose Ca or your local area is only reserved for those who are mentally challenged.  The truth is that everyone can benefit from therapy or counseling.  One can see a therapist for “maintenance,” to make sure things are going well, or one can pursue the help of a therapist for serious life challenges, such as dealing with the loss of a loved one, relationship conflicts, depression, anxiety, and overcoming sexual addictions or other compulsive behaviors.

The above two reasons are the oposite ends of a spectrum of reasons, so the reader might fall in a category somewhere in between.  Whatever the reason is that leads an individual to seek a therapist, when he/she meets with a therapist at San Jose Counseling, the therapist will help that individual discover the best ways to use the therapy session, so that he/she is empowered in becoming the best version of him/herself!

If the following results are congruent with the reader’s goals, then it would behoove him/her to seek a therapist at our San Jose Counseling office:

  • Better communication with loved ones, including spouse, partner, or family
  • Improving and deepening one’s marriage
  • Tools to control one’s anger
  • Strengthening one’s voice in relationships, whether with a significant other or a colleague at work
  • Assertiveness training
  • Skills to cope with life-challenges such as death, divorce, and unemployment
  • Improved sex life
  • Overcoming sexual, […]
By |October 12th, 2013|Counseling|0 Comments

Marriage Counseling San Jose


What is Marriage Counseling San Jose?

marriage counseling san jose caPsychotherapy takes many forms: individual, group, family and couples.  Marriage counseling San Jose, or couples therapy, is a type of psychotherapy. Marriage counseling helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships.  A wide range of couples can benefit from marriage counseling. Some couples come to counseling for maintenance – their relationship is good, but there’s room for improvement. Others come to marriage counseling because their marriage is in real trouble as a result of some crisis, and the couple is facing the very real threat of divorce.  Although these two scenarios are extremes, there are many couples whose situation falls somewhere in between.

Why Should We Attend Marriage Counseling San Jose?

Through marriage counseling San Jose, you can make thoughtful decisions about improving your relationship and/or finding a healthier way to assert your needs.

Marriage counseling can help couples:

1)     Enhance their communication skills

2)     Become aware of unspoken expectations

3)     Uncover family of origin issues that might be affecting the relationship

4)     Understand one another’s needs better, including emotional, financial and physical

5)     Improve their sex life

6)     Deepen their marital bond

7)     Provide stability for their children

8)     Create a healthy blended family

Marriage counseling San Jose can also help couples that plan to get married. This pre-marital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.

There are times when marriage counseling is not possible, because one partner will not want to attend marriage counseling.  Although, marriage counseling requires the presence of both partners, sometimes that reality is not an option just yet. In case you are looking into […]

By |October 12th, 2013|Counseling|2 Comments
  • Reconciliation: Moving Past Divorce Reconciliation: Moving Past Divorce

    Reconciliation: Moving Past Divorce

Reconciliation: Moving Past Divorce

After separation and during the divorce process, you likely have become angry, resentful, and hostile towards your spouse. When our relationships become threatening, such as a damaged marriage relationship, we protect ourselves by forming a negative image of the other person. This negative image helps us live on with our lives, without experiencing psychological disintegration. In other words, if I believe my spouse is at fault and a horrible person, life is more bearable. As a result, our view of the event, relationship, and all the negative beliefs we use to help us cope become imbedded in our minds. Your spouse’s views, ideas, and beliefs which were clever and wise are now simple-minded and faulty. What used to be unique and special about your spouse is silly and foolish. Your thoughts continue to deepen as a reaction to your anger and even hostility toward your spouse.

During this process, we avoid looking at our contribution to the failed relationship. When we hurt, we distance ourselves. Part of the divorce is the very physical separation between yourself and your spouse. This physical separation makes it very difficult to hear any disconfirming information about your spouse. Your ex-spouse can no longer explain his or her beliefs, attitudes, or actions, because you are no longer together. Instead, you are surrounded by others who will likely encourage your beliefs, attitudes, and actions, not those of your spouse. You seek out friends and family to reassure you that it was in fact your spouse’s fault. The more you process your view, the more your view, even if it is faulty, becomes a part of your reality.

Although this behavioral pattern is comfortable, it leaves you with a painful past and an […]

By |April 13th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments
  • Learning to Forgive in Divorce Learning to Forgive in Divorce

    Learning to Forgive in Divorce

Learning to Forgive in Divorce

Suppose your settlement or trial results are exactly what you wanted. You have the parenting plan you desired. You are paying or receiving the support you thought was the fair amount. Now that the divorce is done, what are you going to do next?

Often divorce clients are consumed with the divorce process. They have had very little time to process or consider what their future is going to look like after the divorce. During the separation and divorce process, however, they’ve become very angry, bitter and resentful of their ex-spouse. Sometimes anger forms because a spouse expects the other to act in a certain way. We say things like, “he should have,” “she failed to,” and “he should never have.” Imposing unrealistic expectations on our spouse, we then hold them to a standard that he or she is doomed to fail. When they do in fact fail, we hold on to the alleged offense and allow the anger and frustration to take power over us, continually reminding ourselves of his or her fault embittering us.

Divorce is hurtful. As a divorce litigant, you have been hurt. Likely it’s a deep hurt because your spouse betrayed you, gave up on your marriage, or couldn’t forgive you for some of your wrongs. And even with a big win at settlement or trial, or even a peaceful and agreeable mediated agreement, the anger and hurt is still there.

Anger is harmful. It has the appearance of making us feel powerful, but leaves us feeling frustrated and powerless. Forgiveness is your willingness to release the past, the anger, the bitterness and resentment. It means separating forgivable people from unforgivable actions. When you forgive, you give yourself the chance to move […]

By |April 13th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments
  • Dealing with the Pains of Divorce Through Meaningful and Complete Apology Dealing with the Pains of Divorce Through Meaningful and Complete Apology

    Dealing with the Pains of Divorce Through Meaningful and Complete Apology

Dealing with the Pains of Divorce Through Meaningful and Complete Apology

If you are contemplating divorce, in the midst of a divorce, or already have a divorce decree in hand, you know pressures of the legal process do not compare to the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. The emotional pressures can be quelled when you give a meaningful and complete apology. It has the effect of freeing you from the weight of the divorce, help heal you and the person you offended, restore your relationships, and even provide you direct legal benefits to your case.

Apologies: The Need to Give and Receive.

During the divorce, you process a variety of thoughts and emotions in attempt to understand what lead to the dissolution of your marriage. You conclude that some of these failures were your spouse’s fault and others were yours. Many were a result of both you and your ex-spouse. You may struggle with the shame and guilt you experience for the affair you had or the misuse of your family’s money. You may feel guilty that your marriage failed. You may have even come to terms that this guilt is not going to disappear when the divorce process is over. You are haunted by the thought of having on-going contact with your ex-spouse and you can’t imagine co-parenting for the next ten years in any healthy way or being at your children’s celebrations with your ex-spouse in the years to come.

These are heavy and weighty issues many divorcees feel. A meaningful and complete apology, however, has the power to heal, relieve you of the humiliations and grudges, and help you establish a more healthy future relationship with your ex-spouse. An apology can take you from desiring revenge to a place of acceptance. It has the power […]

By |April 13th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments