Monthly Archives: October 2013

Sex Addiction Recovery

Sex addiction is the use of sex and/or pornography to address non-sexual, emotional needs.  Countless people from different cultures struggle with this condition, which not only disrupts their everyday life, but it also destroys it in the process. Sex addiction recovery is the person’s journey in not only uncovering all the pain and shame that fuels this compulsive behavior, but also maintaining sobriety by making wholesome, healthy decisions.

What is Sex Addiction and Sex Addiction Recovery

Sexual Addiction RecoverySex addiction is progressive in nature, and it progresses gradually, in stages, during which time, the addict becomes increasingly detached from friends, family and the real world.  Think of a continuum, where on one end is no use for sexual activity and on the opposite end is sex addiction.  Between these two polar opposites, there is some sexual use, followed by misusing sex, abusing sex until one ends up in the extreme end: sex addiction.  Ultimately, the addictive cycle ends with serious guilt and shame, and when this cycle runs long enough, the addict’s life becomes unmanageable resulting in possible legal, financial or personal distress.  If you are reading this, and resonate with the descripition above, then you can stop the cycle and start your sex addiction recovery today.

Even if one does not exhibit all the symptoms or severity of sex addiction now, the misuse and abuse of sex (such as compulsively masturbating to pornography, frequenting gentleman’s clubs and sexual massage parlors, or paying escorts) quickly impacts one’s ability to have sex in a healthy way.  During the “thrill of the hunt,” the individual experiences an imense pleasure, which takes place in the reward pathway of the brain.  Over a […]

By |October 12th, 2013|Sexual Addiction|0 Comments

Sexual Addiction Counseling

Although this is not the case for all sexual addicts, for many addicts their sexual addiction has its roots in trauma endured during their childhood.  According to Dr. Patrick Carnes in his book, “Contrary to Love” his research showed that 97% of sex addicts were emotionally abused, 72% were physically abused and 81% were sexually abused.

Therefore, treatment will entail fellowship in support groups (like 12-step meetings) and some form of counseling.  In relation to sexual addiction counseling, the addict has some options from which to choose such as: individual counseling, twelve step programs or support groups.  It is recommended that the addict pursues a combination of either individual sexual addiction counseling or group sexual addiction counseling in conjunction with a twelve step program.

So, once an individual decides to pursue sexual addiction counseling, what will therapy look like?

Sexual Addiction CounselingThe goal of sexual addiction counseling will not revolve around abolishing sex altogether, but rather, to find alternate ways to cope with stress, anxiety or emotional pain.  In other words, sexual addiction counseling will require the addict to learn to place sex in its proper context.

One of the first things accomplished in sexual addiction counseling is to understand the cycle of sexual addiction.  Here, the addict will get an understanding of short and long term events that have contributed to his stress and anxiety.

Next, the therapist will help the addict identify some possible triggers (people, places, things, thoughts, feelings and behaviors that make one feel anxious or stressed and want to act out).

Finally, due to the abuse in the addict’s family of origin, a majority of the sexual addiction counseling will entail grief work around the trauma and […]

Couples Counseling San Jose

Who Will Benefit from Couples Counseling San Jose?

Any couple can benefit from couples counseling.  Often, couples who believe that their relationship warrants counseling, conclude that it is a bad sign and they should consider breaking-up.  This isn’t the case.  Many couples pursue couples counseling for positive reasons such as the desire to create healthy relationships or enhance communication skills. The length of couples counseling can vary.  Some couples might need a handful of sessions to put them on the right track. Others are in crisis and require more attention and work.  However, with the right therapist and effort from the couple, they can find hope for their relationship and solid-lasting love.

What Kinds of Problems are Addressed in Couples Counseling San Jose Ca?

couples counseling san jose caPeople seek therapy for a range of problems.  Every situation and couple is different. The aim is to help the couple gain a better understanding of themselves and their partner, and to decide if they need and want to make changes. If so, the therapist will help guide them to those needed changes.

Some of the common complaints we see at couples counseling San Jose Ca include:

  • Poor communication
  • Unspoken expectations
  • Unmet emotional or physical needs
  • Financial concerns
  • Frequent arguments
  • Parenting issues
  • Sexual and intimacy issues
  • Trust issues

Couples will pursue couples counseling not because their problems are unique, but because they are having difficulty resolving them in a health way. When problems are not resolved in a healthy, timely, manner, the consequences such as disappointment, bitterness and anger, escalate into more serious issues like resentment, hatred and rage.  This form of escalation can be avoided! Mediocrity and dysfunction can be aleviated if couples counseling is sought […]

By |October 12th, 2013|Counseling|0 Comments

Therapist San Jose

Should I see a Therapist?

That’s a great question. For many, it takes a lot of courage to even ask that question, or be brave enough to proactively search one out. You are making great steps towards your ultimate health.  And yes, one can definitely benefit from seeing a therapist!

It is definitely a misnomer that seeing a therapist in San Jose Ca or your local area is only reserved for those who are mentally challenged.  The truth is that everyone can benefit from therapy or counseling.  One can see a therapist for “maintenance,” to make sure things are going well, or one can pursue the help of a therapist for serious life challenges, such as dealing with the loss of a loved one, relationship conflicts, depression, anxiety, and overcoming sexual addictions or other compulsive behaviors.

The above two reasons are the oposite ends of a spectrum of reasons, so the reader might fall in a category somewhere in between.  Whatever the reason is that leads an individual to seek a therapist, when he/she meets with a therapist at San Jose Counseling, the therapist will help that individual discover the best ways to use the therapy session, so that he/she is empowered in becoming the best version of him/herself!

If the following results are congruent with the reader’s goals, then it would behoove him/her to seek a therapist at our San Jose Counseling office:

  • Better communication with loved ones, including spouse, partner, or family
  • Improving and deepening one’s marriage
  • Tools to control one’s anger
  • Strengthening one’s voice in relationships, whether with a significant other or a colleague at work
  • Assertiveness training
  • Skills to cope with life-challenges such as death, divorce, and unemployment
  • Improved sex life
  • Overcoming sexual, […]
By |October 12th, 2013|Counseling|0 Comments

Marriage Counseling San Jose


What is Marriage Counseling San Jose?

marriage counseling san jose caPsychotherapy takes many forms: individual, group, family and couples.  Marriage counseling San Jose, or couples therapy, is a type of psychotherapy. Marriage counseling helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships.  A wide range of couples can benefit from marriage counseling. Some couples come to counseling for maintenance – their relationship is good, but there’s room for improvement. Others come to marriage counseling because their marriage is in real trouble as a result of some crisis, and the couple is facing the very real threat of divorce.  Although these two scenarios are extremes, there are many couples whose situation falls somewhere in between.

Why Should We Attend Marriage Counseling San Jose?

Through marriage counseling San Jose, you can make thoughtful decisions about improving your relationship and/or finding a healthier way to assert your needs.

Marriage counseling can help couples:

1)     Enhance their communication skills

2)     Become aware of unspoken expectations

3)     Uncover family of origin issues that might be affecting the relationship

4)     Understand one another’s needs better, including emotional, financial and physical

5)     Improve their sex life

6)     Deepen their marital bond

7)     Provide stability for their children

8)     Create a healthy blended family

Marriage counseling San Jose can also help couples that plan to get married. This pre-marital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.

There are times when marriage counseling is not possible, because one partner will not want to attend marriage counseling.  Although, marriage counseling requires the presence of both partners, sometimes that reality is not an option just yet. In case you are looking into […]

By |October 12th, 2013|Counseling|2 Comments